New HR Rules

[amkusax]

New HR Rules

SICKDAYS
We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as proof of sickness. If you are able to get to the doctor, you are able to come into work.

SURGERY
Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider having anything removed. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

HOLIDAYS
Each employee will receive 104 holidays per year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.
ABSENT FOR YOUR OWN DEATH This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice to allow time for you to train your own replacement.

TOILET USE
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilets. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance: All employees whose names begin with 'A' will go from 8.00 to 8.20, employees whose names begin with 'B' will go from 8.20 to 8.40 and so on. If you are unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a co-worker. Both workers' supervisors must approve this exchange in writing.

In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the toilets. At the end of 3 minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper will retract, and the door will open.

DRESS CODE
It is advised that you must come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing designer clothing we will assume that you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a payrise. Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternations or input should be directed elsewhere.

[dianalisa]

Hello

For my HR Management class, I have to write a 3-6 page essay discussing in what ways the movie. In Pursuit of Happiness (with Will Smith) has to do with the study of human resources management. I am planning on watching the movie today, but I am just trying to get some ideas in my head that will help me with this long essay.Thank You.
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